!ncredible India!

I thought of documenting my India trip, so here I am. Blessed be my old man, for his contacts let me travel in executive class both ways - that’s why I can sit here with no one around me in an aircraft in the upper deck whilst it’s a concentration camp down there.

I left behind a beautiful sea breeze in El Segundo on a Friday night, sometimes the salt laden air floats across from the pacific that’s only a mile or two. The temperature around 19 C and that lovely salt smell. On the plane before taking off from LA, a phone conversation with AB and my attention was drawn to the drawbacks of sitting in executive class:
1. Old male stewards in lieu of young air hostesses
2. No company to make an impression on. All you have are old people, as it takes a man certain age to get himself into executive class. Worse, you might have just empty space beside you.
I decided he was a jealous boob like all other men and told him I would catch up later. Indian steward seemed to apologetic and rude alternatively and I eventually gave up trying to be in tune with his emotions.

Frankfurt – As I get nearer to India, the changes were obvious. An excess of people, a lack of restrooms, people struggling to get in front of others and forgotten definitions of a line etc. Already getting used to old times!

Landed in Gurgaon, nothing worth mentioning except the great heat and humidity and the dusty haphazard roads. Its not new to me, but I must explain it to myself. Roughly, traffic moves by approximations in India. In the sense that you inch your way into traffic so that the opposing driver is forced to a dead stop or a barely moving situation, and then you can happily wade across. I am impressed by this feature because:
a) Accidents are minimal. Even if they happen, they are low speed most times and hence not a cause of big worry.
b) You don’t have to wait at stop signs and waste time. Imagine a place where everybody has right of way at the same time.
c) Continuous honking by you and your fellow drivers builds a certain camaraderie and feeling of well being that is completely absent in other countries.

Moving on, another feature of India now are the malls. Rich and poor, notorious and the famous all flock to the malls everyday. I think its mainly the free air-conditioning that is otherwise hard to afford all the time. Prices are the same (no subsidies at Nike) but the stores still seem to be doing pretty well. Customer service is great too. Striking point – the number of people at the malls is humongous. And most of them were better dressed than I was.

Before I dive into facts about Chennai, my next halt, and I am speaking my mind here with no order or agenda, one thing that I would like you, young man or woman, to notice is that India is very real. Let me explain. Developed countries live an artificial life. Everything is optimized, perfect, roads have signs, traffic moves in some order, there are very few people and all of them have health insurance and air-conditioning. In India’s disorder and mayhem, there is life, art, and history woven together in one fabric. There is hope, fear and sorrow with the joys. Everyday is one one huge physio-emotional roller coaster, worrying about whether you will be able to see the world cup final tonight lest the power cut deprives you. Most people don’t have time to wonder about questions like “Why am I here, what is the purpose of my life?” and the likes. They worry about how to tackle the heat without the airconditioner first. Life is what is meant to be, evanescent and full of reality at the same time.
-Excerpt from my complete write-up, apologies for the seemingly incomplete ending.

Benefits of Attending Class.

A post on the newsgroups by Prof. Narayan Rangaraj. Prof. Rangaraj teaches Operations Research at IIT Bombay.

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Dear people who are registered for ME 408(IEOR-2)

After deep thought arising from a decade of teaching this course, and collating the feedback of thousands (well, eight hundred or so) of seniors and colleagues, this is the deal (all my own work).

Top five reasons for attending the course
1) Ever since the dawn of civilized man and the early Phoenicians invented something and the Indus Valley guys invented something else, man and woman have thirsted to learn more about how the world is organised, how the stars move, how inventory is
managed and how the central limit theorem can be used to control product quality.

2) Minimum 85% attendance is required in the course, otherwise there is an automatic XX in a core course, which is a real pain to deal with, later on.

3) IE and OR provides a fascinating window of learning, with its unique mix of engineering and mathematics, management and science, theory and practice, computation and common sense, and one other thing. For some reason, faculty in management schools who are interviewing IITians feel that engineers should know more about this, more's the pity.

4) The instructor feels really happy at seeing large numbers of people coming into class and where he has to use a mike, but doesn't because his voice is loud enough. The instructor then takes a benign view of the class, quizzes and everything else (but don't bet on the last part).

5) You might actually learn something interesting, or even useful.

Five reasons which will be accepted as valid excuses for not attending (with supporting documents)

1) I broke my leg while entering the classroom as there was a stampeding crowd of people behind me trying to get at the last few seats in the class. Copy of X-ray.

2) I had to assist the Director and Dean as a student representative in the signing of an MOU with Mars Institute of Technology (one of the top schools in the universe). Press photograph with you in it with the Director and/or Dean and people from Mars.

3) My brother/sister got married yesterday. Copy of marriage certificate.

3a) Only for children of Elizabeth Taylor -- my mother got married yesterday. Copy of birth certificate.

4) There was an earthquake in the hostel. Copy of disaster relief disbursement from the Commissioner.

4a) I was attacked by a leopard on the way to class. Photograph by friend in which leopard and you can be spotted.

5) I'm actually dead and could not make it from heaven on the day of registration. Death certificate from competent authorities.

Five reasons which will NOT be accepted as valid excuses, even if true.

1) My friend's two wheeler has gone for annual maintenance.
2) My room partner did not wake me up.
3) I did not know the lecture timings (it is Tue 9.30, Thu 10.30 and Fri 8.30, so there goes that excuse)
4) I am interested only in control theory, not in IEOR.
4a) My brain is suffering from course overload in this, my sixth or eighth semester. Why did I get into this thing? I didn't realize it would be so painful to get through. Enough is enough, etc.
5) I did not know that attendance mattered. You do now.

With regards, and hoping to see you, you know where. I promise I will speak loud enough to keep you awake and can even arrange for pillows (at Rs 5 per lecture hour) if your head keeps hitting the desk from a height (some advance notice needed for providing this service). ONLY non-negotiable part of the course is that cheating is not permitted in exams, tests, quizzes and assignments and will be penalized heavily.

Everything else about the course is negotiable, provided you show up.

Narayan Rangaraj

An Open Letter to the Landlord.

Dear Landlord,

I will be moving out of your house soon. Actually, you don’t know me. I was staying in the living-room and was not on the lease. Every time you came inside to check I was either in the restroom or out of the house and my room mates were very co-operative. My job profile is such that I work on projects for a couple of months, and being an immigrant, you know how it is in this country. You can’t rely upon your job to last forever and have to plan for the worst.
Frankly I think the rent you charge for your place is too high for the comforts it provides. The microwave is from the middle ages (with manual knobs and what not) and the bathrooms are olfactory nightmares. Please do something about this soon. I find it surprising that none of the neighbors ever say hi, is this true only for this apartment or for all others in this city?
Anyway, the real reason for this e-mail is the new living room I am moving into needs some reference from the previous stay. Could you be kind enough to help me out?

Thanks,
Your pseudo-tenant.